Why Am I So Jealous? How To Stop Being Jealous

Why Am I Such A Jealous Person? All About Jealousy:

It is important to distinguish between feelings of insecurity and feelings of jealousy. It probably is inevitable to feel somewhat insecure about a romantic relationship, especially in its early stages. When we first fall in love, we want evidence that our partner cares as much about us as we do about him or her. So if we see our loved one talking and laughing with someone else at a party, we can't help but worry that he or she finds this other person more interesting than us. But that's not jealousy. Jealousy is an angry and aggressive emotion. It demands that we take action, that we strike out at those who have betrayed us.

Characteristics Of A Typical Jealous Person:

People who experience intense feelings of jealousy are not happy people. First of all, they tend to be low in self esteem. They do not feel very good about themselves, for they have difficulty believing that anyone else could care deeply about them. Thus, it is not surprising that when they see their partner talking to someone else, their first thoughts are of betrayal. They expect it because deep down they "know" they are not good enough to deserve their partner's loyalty.

Jealous people are nervous individuals who see the world as a frightening place. They expect the worst of people, including the ones they love. They become hyper-vigilant in their search for evidence that their worst fears are indeed reality. So a partner's friendly smile to a stranger becomes the sign of a secret affair. Talking on the telephone is taken as evidence of a lack of caring. No, jealousy is not an attractive quality.

You must talk to yourself. You must tell yourself that your fears are groundless. You must restrain yourself. Don't interrogate your partner when he or she is a half hour late. Give your partner a big hug and tell her how glad you are to see him or her. Even if your suspicions have some basis in reality, you must remind yourself that angry words won't bring your partner back. You have a much better chance of winning your partner's loyalty by reminding him or her of how much you care, and that you would like to talk about any problems the two of you might be having.

Being a non-jealous person does not mean that you have to accept anything your partner does. You have the right to expect that both you and your partner will abide by certain ground rules. If your partner violates one of these rules, you should bring it to his or her attention. If your partner flirted shamelessly with an attractive man or woman at a party, you might tell him or her, "You embarrassed me tonight, and if you do it again I won't go to another party with you."

The point is that you must let your partner know how you feel and how you view the options. By giving your partner a choice, you have a chance of getting what you want. By demanding that your partner comply to your wishes, especially if your demands are hostile and abusive, you are guaranteeing that you will lose in the long run.

How To Stop Your Jealous Ways:

If you are a jealous person, all is not lost - you can change. It will take some work, but you will find the effort worthwhile. You must convince yourself that it is in your own self-interest to rid yourself of this destructive emotion. If you don't, your partner will soon feel "suffocated", and you will surely find yourself alone.

Is there a more frightening and dangerous monster than the one with green eyes? Jealousy can be incredibly hurtful and destructive. We've all heard countless stories about stalking, spousal abuse, and kidnapping, acts that very often have their roots in jealousy.