Why Am I So Easily Discouraged?

"I can be so excited about something, and then it takes only one person who thinks it's a bad idea to dissuade me from continuing. I'm so excited about getting started on a new project, and then my momentum slows because I'm not seeing the results I had hoped for. I just don't have the perseverance that other people seem to have. I start many projects yet follow through on only a few."

Sound like you? A diminished self-concept dictates that preservation of your ego is more important than positive expansion of your self image. You are not able to risk injury to your ego on anything that may not be successful. Your concern is no longer what do you have to gain but what will you lose if you fail. Your focus is on failure instead of success. You are not willing to invest any more of yourself unless you can be assured of a payoff. At the start of a task there's little risk, but as you invest more and more of yourself you are concerned that this is going to be "another one of those", and you quickly look for an out. You tell yourself that another idea you have is much better than the one you're working on. And so the cycle continues as you jump from idea to idea. Your energy comes only in bursts and is never sustained. When self-doubt creeps in, your focus is divided and your energy is drained by doubts and fears.

If you have been disappointed in the past (and who of us has not?), you may use this "ladder to nowhere" as a means of escaping commitment. As long as you don't put too much effort into anything, you don't have to concern yourself with the outcome. Ideas that never leave your mind will never bring you sorrow.

Do Good Anonymously

One of the quickest ways to free yourself from the need to protect your ego is to create situations in which you get to feel good but your ego isn't involved in any way. When you give of your time, energy, talents, money, or resources without expectation of acknowledgment or credit, you benefit in unexpected ways. There is a real joy in giving unconditionally, a feeling you won't completely understand until you do it.

Remain Focused On Your Outcome While Celebrating Small Wins Along The Way

Don't let discouragement get the better of you any more. Reward yourself for persisting toward the main goal by identifying milestones that deserve recognition. Celebrate them in meaningful ways yet reserve the major festivities for the final goal. This is especially useful if you're in the habit of jumping from one half-finished project to another. Considering each milestone as a miniproject in itself gives you the feeling of novelty as you start each new phase, but more important, it also gives you the completion that's necessary to reach your ultimate goal.

Use Obstacles To Strengthen Your Resolve, Not Diminish It!

Consider them the doors that open onto everything you always wanted; all you must do is prove your worth with the right key. Be glad for challenges. Without them, how would we grow?

Why Am I So Easily Discouraged?

Volunteering offers a host of opportunities to participate in the joy of teamwork, cooperation, taking pride in one's community, helping to avert a crisis, and brightening someone's day. It can be something as simple as collecting litter at the park, or delivering meals to the elderly. Learn what it's like to give unselfishly and to contribute to a task beyond your ordinary scope.