Stopping Self Sabotage

To understand self sabotage, and how it can prevent you from having an abundant life, you must first understand your "comfort zone". A comfort zone is an artificial, self imposed barrier that your subconscious mind creates that allows you to feel or know when you are approaching the limit of what you believe you can experience or have. For example: if Mary has never been treated with respect in a relationship, and begins dating a caring, loving person, this relationship exceeds her comfort zone, causing either anxiety or fear or a subconscious desire to run or destroy the relationship. When you approach the limit of your comfort zone, it creates a feeling of uneasiness or impending doom.

Self sabotage is often the response to an experience that surpasses your current belief systems. If something is too good, too much, or too fast, you subconsciously find a way to bring it back to a level that is comfortable, in line with what you believe you can can/should have.

Self sabotage can be subtle.

You may be in danger of sabotaging your success if you continually find yourself thinking or saying "Just when I thought everything was going so well..." or if you take pride in all the mishaps in your life. You may be a self sabotager if you energetically relay your tales of woe to friends. In a much more subtle way, self sabotage may be imminent if you feel anxious when pieces of your life are falling into place. Having daydreams about catching your partner being unfaithful may be indicative of self sabotage. These are a few signs of being at the limit of, or of having exceeded, a belief system.

Our success sometimes exceeds our highest expectations. This reality confronts the artificial limitation of our beliefs. In this way it forces you to look at the way you create your life experience. If you sabotage a pattern of success, this enables you to say "See, I know it was too good to be true." This pattern alleviates the burden of trying for more.

To move past self sabotage, you must first recognize it.

If you realize that you have reached the limits of your beliefs, you may use the power of words to gently push these limits. Feel yourself becoming comfortable with a greater field of success. Find a sentence that you can repeat to yourself to help you move to the next level. Examples of phrases to use:

I easily and naturally give and receive love.
My past is my past. I am ready for a wonderful future.
I expand my range of experiences with ease.
I allow more into my life.
I comfortably allow abundance into my life.
I am comfortable making more money.

Here's a real-world example of a person who was prone to self sabotage and what he did to help alleviate the problem:

David is a department manager for a national accounting firm. Until last year, he was one of thirty accountants in the department. David's manager was retiring and he recommended that David replace him. Suddenly, David was the boss. He found himself in a position of responsibility for which he was not emotionally prepared. He was both competent and skilled enough to do a good job. However, the position exceeded his comfort level of success, and he began making mistakes.

To expand his comfort zone, David went through a process of identifying why he was anxious about his new job. Although intellectually he knew that he was qualified, emotionally he feared that he would fail and be demoted. He felt like an imposter in the new position. These emotions began to allow his fear to become reality by distracting him so that he made careless mistakes.

David used positive phrases to recondition his subconscious to allow success at this job. He repeated to himself "I am capable, qualified, and calm in performing my new job." Each time he proved to himself that he was an effective manager, it further served to expand his comfort level in his position. Although he works constantly on the feelings surrounding success and his career, David no longer exhibits self sabotaging behaviors.

Stopping Self Sabotage And Understanding Your "Comfort Zone":

Self sabotage usually occurs in response to the feeling that the situation is too good to be true. You unconsciously want your life to reflect your beliefs. If your life begins to exceed your beliefs, you tend to find a way to adjust your beliefs or to adjust your experience.