How To Stop Your Social Anxiety (Extreme Shyness) Today

We are all a little socially awkward at times, it’s simply human nature. However, there are some of us who tend to be excessively nervous in social situations, and they make their nervousness worse by saying self-defeating things to themselves about their interaction with others. They are so convinced of their social ineptitude that they approach every situation certain they will say something silly, and that others will reject them. They find it more comfortable to stay at home alone rather than find themselves in a situation where they could be rejected in any way.

Lose Your Social Anxiety With These 5 Simple Steps…

The good news is that you can easily start your own “treatment” program to gradually feel more comfortable and relaxed around other people. Here’s a simple, 5 step program for you:

(1) For the first two weeks, the only thing you have to do is to smile and say hello to strangers you make eye contact with-in appropriate situations, of course. At work or school, smile and say hello to people who get on the elevator with you. Do it with the cashier when you buy gas or a newspaper. When you try this out, some people might look at you as though you’re crazy, but don’t let that stop you. Just repeat some of these positive thoughts (or make up some of your own, of course):

“I’m beginning to feel more at ease”
“No worries, no fears, no anxieties”
“What do I have to lose, it’s worth a try”
“I can handle anything”
“Even if things don’t go well, it’s no catastrophe”
“We probably have a lot in common”
“Throw caution to the wind!”
“He/she may want to talk to me as much as I want to talk to him/her”

You’ll be surprised at how many people will respond with a friendly smile of their own, and before long it will seem more natural to say positive things to yourself.

(2)During the second two week segment, practice your small talk skills. While you are waiting in line at the grocery store, turn to the person behind you and comment on how wonderful a day it is. When you pay for your gas, ask the cashier how he/she has been. You may wonder if such familiarity is appropriate, but your doubts are a result of your telling yourself that others will reject you. The vast majority of people will respond to friendliness and openness in kind, and you need to remind yourself of this.

Things You Can Do Today To Conquer Social Anxiety:

(3)The third step of your self treatment program is to offer other people compliments. You don’t have to be gushy, but almost everyone likes to get a pat on the back every now and then. Tell your classmate that you thought her comment was really good and made you think about the topic in a new way. Tell your co-worker that you like his new tie. One of the most basic principles of human relationships is that we like those who like us, so show other people you like them. They have probably assumed that your quietness reflects your lack of interest in them, rather than your insecurities.

(4)Step four is to begin reaching out; be the one who extends invitations. After completing the first three steps, you are feeling more comfortable around others and you are getting to know them. Now is the time to make new friends. Ask a co-worker to have lunch with you. Ask your neighbor in for a beer. Not everyone will say yes because not everyone will like you, but that is no excuse to stop trying. You don’t like everyone you meet, either! Remember, nothing ventured nothing gained.

(5)Now that you are feeling more comfortable around individuals, it is time to face your apprehensions about being part of a larger group. You need practice, so you will have to find a group to join. For example, an evening college class or book discussion club. Your first task in this step is easy, it is to make just one comment each meeting. You may want to practice in front of a mirror, or write out the comment before the meeting. You may feel nervous when speaking up the first time, but don’t worry about it. The chances are that nobody else will notice. It will definitely get easier as you go along. Soon you will find yourself wanting to speak up!

Keep thinking positive thoughts, and good luck!